Guilt, defeat, solitude, judgment…all were my feelings magnified by an inability to successfully breastfeed my first child. Plenty of fluids, internet suggested foods and herbs, tips from friends, and several breast pumps later (including a heavy duty one rented from a hospital facility), my child seemed happy with her lactose free infant formula and totally disinterested in eating from Mama. I stopped. For six weeks, I tried everything that I knew to try, but had not been successful in latching my newborn to breast or pumping enough milk to feed my baby. Formula and bottle feeding would be my child’s sustenance. My increased knowledge as a nurse had not saved me. I…had…failed. The baby was healthy and well fed. That was most important, right? But…why did I feel like such a failure?


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